Here we go kittens…
Disney Princess Selma gets her one on one date with Sean, and Tierra shoots daggers at her from across the room while she talks about levels, and having babies.
Leslie, the poker dealer is UPSET that she did not make the one on one date cut. She just really wants a date.
Side note: Daniella, the peanut gallery is a WRECK. She has a bit of Kei$ha happening with her.
Sean takes Selma to her own private plane and she becomes a Kardashian, and thinks every date is going to be like this forever. “Lets fly as she lays down in his lap… and talks about feeling like a princess in a castle.”
L: Umm… if you did that on a normal first date… you wwould not get asked on a second one. Crazy.
Nope. no castle… Sorry disney princess… nope. “He took the Iraqi to the desert.”
You’re in a sports bra, where do you really think you’re going honey?
Well played Sean. Take the Disney Princess and drop her outsider her element… ya know, the heat, the mountains, where she felt “puffy…”
Sean issuing another mean date… hilarious to watch her out of her element.
This is mean. But little disney princess climbs up the mountain, because she’s so tiny.
I’ll be honest… that’s awesome. Good for her, and she didn’t even break a sweat.
Then Sean drives them to Blakely’s Bachelor pad date. Where they’ll presumably dance under the stars to another country artist who is hiding nearby, OR the music in their heads, and fall in love… or she’ll tell him that she can’t kiss him on TV because she’s Arab, and she can’t. This is going to end up working in her favor. He’s gonna forehead kiss her all the way to the end. Just watch.
Meanwhile on the group date, Tierra don’t need no chaperones anymore.
ROLLER DERBY… the most athletic… challenging… lesbifriends activity.
Oh poor Sarah. Rude.
Woh. Amanda you are CRAZY.
So Sean rolls over in his sweet suede roller skates to have a pep talk with Sarah.
Obviously AshLee and Sarah are friends. Because they’re both awesome.
AND of course Amanda and Tierra are friends… bitches. Karma’s gonna get you… Oh there it is. Yeah… Amanda just broke her jaw. AND that’s what happens when you’re a BITCH.
So Amanda breaks her jaw, and Sean calls a free skate, and they all go moonlighting like 5th graders around the roller derby rink… and Sarah gets the rose for being a brave gal.
… And then they go to part 2 of the date, and Tierra actually loses her mind. She says she wants a rose because she deserves it, not as a sympathy card. Tierra, meet Amanda. Two crazies in a pod.
What’s wrong with her? I’m serious.
Daniella wants to know why shedoesn’t get a date with Sean…
N: Because you look like Brittany.
But she really thinks there’s something great in store for her…
L: Like a trip home.
Tierra tells Sara she wants to leave. Tierra’s on the hunt for Sean to say her goodbyes, but he’s making out with “Wedding Dress” up in the water tower.
Woh breakdown city to the producer. So much for not playing the sympathy card TIERRA. So Sean literally abandons wedding dress to talk with crazy. Who just manipulated THIS WHOLE SCENARIO and GOT THE ROSE. Yup… wedding dress girl’s face says it all.
Tierra makes me hate you Sean. You are a moron.
UGH. I hate you.
GROSS.
This is like Ben’s season all over again with Courtney. Are all men this stupid? Are you kidding me? How much does he get to keep her around.
Lesley the poker dealer gets a one on one date with Sean… for a pretty woman date… AGAIN. Wah Wah Bachelor. Get creative.
And proceeds to pick out the world’s ugliest dresses. Literally… in the world. 80′s prom dress. And of course she gets more bling.
Form who else… Neil Lane. Hey Neil… it’s a little early in the season to be seeing you. But thanks for the ugly necklace that doesn’t match her heinous dress. Dressed to go home. Wah wah.
No spark.Oh this is painful. Sean is so nice, he just can’t even get out of this. She’s lovely, but the sparks aren’t there. So, oh no.. pick up the rose, and wave it in her face and take it away… jerk.
L: She’s crying inside right now.
And on her way out to the limo,Neil grabbed that necklace back as Ben Taylor played her out.
Meanwhile back at the ranch… Princess Selma has fallen under an evil spell and is hanging out with the two evil step sisters Amanda, and Tierra.
Cocktail party time… Where Robin makes Sean choose between her and a mini milky way. Cause you know… he likes chocolate.
Then Tierra fake apologizes to the red headed chickadee, and Robin. Daniella, who didn’t quite finish her face before the rose ceremony began… eek.
Ugh… god Tierrable. You are THE WORST. No one likes you. You’re a huge lying, manipulative hooka.
So Catherine’s in the friend zone with Sean… after giving Sean a piece of paper with her lip gloss kisses on it… ummm.
Ok. Buy buy Crazy Amanda. Thanks for the entertainment factor.
PREVIEWS
Woh.
Shirtless Sean count
1- Obligatory shirtless Sean opener– first in the bathroom and then in the closet… in his underwear.
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